The TinyTIM Tools Project

Show us your tools!

The question, posed to TIMsters attending TinyTIM parties, is What object best represents you? the result is a gallery of TIMsters proudly showing themselves in a different light.

This project is by Sketch the Art Cow, and consists of asking TIMsters at TIM parties to bring "an object that you think represents you". Being who they are, the objects range from the straightforward to the philisophical.

If you're a TIMster who plans to attend a party that Sketch is attending as well, send him mail if you want to be in on this project.


A Stuffed Badger

Badger brings a small, loveable, furry badger doll to show what represents her. This is certainly accurate. She's one of those really snuggle-hug kind of people, who actually personifies the good feelings behind it and not some of the nasty cynicism that a lot of people, including myself, tend to take it in.

Badger is current the Love Muffin of Br'fin, who appears in this page with his own stuffed toy.


Badger and Brefin are posing with a small dragon that represents the both of them as a couple. I, of course, have totally spaced the name of the dragon and will put it in at a later time.


Her Beloved, Paco

Becka loves Paco. Paco loves Becka. Together, they form THE WONDER TWINS! Ok, fine, so they don't. They Do form a loveable couple. When asked to bring the object that represented them, they brought each other. I, of course, ended up using Paco's sexy Beanie as his object instead. This was mostly because the picture looked better.


A Pack of Black Death Cigarettes

You may know him as Black Death, but I know him as Chuck, Stud Cancer of the East Coast. Actually, there's some question as to the full dynamics of Black_Death's character on TinyTIM, but it seems that he smokes a small doll factory every morning and gives you that winning smile that tells you, with great assurance, that you will be dead within hours. I dig the guy. As it stands, he's lucky enough to have a brand of cigarettes with his name. Would Sketch cigarettes sell as well?


A Stuffed Dinosaur

Br'fin the Denim Warrior. The Fifth Beatle of TinyTIM. They guy who has been offered a wizbit several times but simply doesn't have the time or the will to do the administrative brouhahaha that comes with being a TIMwiz. Instead, he's content to just program the very best thingies ever for the game.

I personally have given this guy challenge upon challenge, and watched as he's completed every task. I probably owe him a thousand dollars by now, just in principle.

Br'fin is currently sharing his computer-filled life with Badger, who appears elsewhere. Together the two of them remind you was luv is.


A Lack of Interest in Being Photographed

China_Cat, TIMbabe of much Age Illusion, doesn't like to be photographed. Somehow, I convinced her that posing like it was a paparazzi shot would be really cool and not really show her face. Actually, it ENTIRELY shows her face, and she IS TIMbabe extraordinare.

The dude with her had no comment and punched me in the face.


One of his Excellent Margaritas

Chuckles can be seen posing with what was left the next morning of his Margaritas. It should be noted that they looked a little better 24 hours before. Actually, so did he. He's tired in this picture; he had way too much fun at this party. I have not personally tried out his mixed drinks, but I have it on good authority (Rutabaga) that they're a great icing on your personal party cake.


The Spatula of Great Expectations

Coyote is posing in a Most Trippy Fashion to display The Spatula of Great Expectations, part of the many tools of the Plumbers' Cove. It is said to hold the Spatula will brighten your day. ("I can do GREAT THINGS with this Spatula!") Coyote was most positive during this shoot as a result, thanks to the Spatula. ("I KNOW this picture is going to come out great!")


A Complete Lack of Sense

This is Dory's Dog, Cooper, named after Agent Dale Cooler of Twin Peaks fame. Cooper used to be a free-range puppy in the midwest, but a funny set of circumstances led to his being in Topsfield, Massachusetts with a scientist and his family. Cooper used to catch all the squirrels in the yard, over and over, unttl it got to the point that the squirrels had no tails.

What finally won me over to Cooper's mental facilities was how just before the Lag Day Party of 1995, he took on a semi. Ran in front of it, barking, much as in the line of "Hey! Big thing that weighs 100 times more than a dozen of me! STOP!" The truck was nonplussed and nearly killed him.

I named him "CyberMutt" because it makes him seem really cutting edge.


His Jams

Daron is the Jams Man. If you're unclear on what "Jams" are, they're basically really funky shorts, perfect for hanging around in, scanning the babez. Daron, of course, doesn't have to worry about scanning the babez; the babez scan him. Who says there's nothing good about MUSHing all day?


A Danish Castle

Elsinore is Br'fin's sexy sister, who doesn't have near his coding abilities, probably because Br'fin hogs the computer and phone line too much. This contention is for the two of them to work out.

Her representative object is a Danish Castle. In fact, she plays a Scottish Castle on TIM herself! Quite a role-playing challenge, if you ask me; sure beats playing a boring ol' cow or something.


A Tie-Dyed Mr. Bubble T-Shirt

Geo is one of the founding wizards of TrippyMUSH, but a TIMster at heart, and most gracious in posing for a picture at Woodystock II in front of the Plumbers' Cove (Which he's blocking with that glorious, shining smile of his). Geo, and I say this from the bottom of my heart, is cool.


The Color Bloo

Not, of course, to be mistaken with the color "Blue". Hoovooloo's character seems to have simply become a large shade of Bloo. This is totally acceptable, but how the hell he's able to hold or wear anything within the game is beyond me.


Her Red Spandex Suit

James Taylor writes Ballads for the Spandex Suit. Jimmy Buffett actually gave up drinking for a week when he gazed upon the suit. The combination of the Red Spandex suit and that Leopard-Skin chair just make for one of the most deadly aesthetic combinations since the Jonestown Massacre.

This having been said, Hunty does actually look really slinky in the thing, and I'll bet it could push any administrator over the line in a job interview. Remember that Helpful Bovine Tip, ladies!



Linger, one of the main Babes of TIM, has a collection of Barbies. A somewhat, uh, large collection of Barbies. OK, a OHHH MY GHOOD IT'S SO DAMNED BIG collection of Barbies. The chick collects Barbies like some people collect oxygen. Barbies, as you may or may not know, are quite the industry, with Barbies sometimes costing into the hundreds or the thousands of dollars. Well, Linger digs 'em. Note the pretty background. That's Woody's really clean pool. All-natural cleaners!


Oily Rags and a Grease Gun

McAnnick was going to bring an entire Transmission to the photo shoot, but the pure logic of losing room for luggage and supplies made him eventually rule it out. Let it be known, however, that McAnnick Likes Cars.

I confess, it was a good six months that he was a regular user of TinyTIM that I happened to say his name out loud and finally got the joke.


His "Coroner" Handbag

Nails is a soft of scary TIMster, the kind you read about in the papers 10 years down the road and you go "Oh, yeah, that makes sense." One look with that half-smile of his and you have this strange desire to frisk him.

Maybe I'm alone in this opinion. Whatever. Nails chose to display his "Coroner" Handbag, since he carries it all around with him. Go, Nails!


His Most Holy Vest of Many Pockets

What can I say about Nimdok that hasn't been said much more eloquently in such magazines as Essence, Utne Reader, and Teen Beat? Well, for one thing, he's actually twice the sex machine they claim he is, and the other is that he's not just older than dirt, he's REALLY, REALLY older than dirt. Hey, nice legs, there!


A Small Wooden Cross

Occam, who has just displaced several hot contenders as the most scary TIMster of all time, indicated that what represented him was a wooden cross stuck into the ground. "This ground is holy, now." he said to me, calmly. I found out that he intended to light the cross. This brings us to the second picture, which is the remains of a bonfire that Occam took upon himself to light in a corner of Woody's yard, "if anyone wants to sit around the fire". Occam likes fire, as far as I could tell. He showed an amazing talent for making Woody's Citronella lamps increase their flames two- and threefold. As a result, I now consider Woody's backyard to be OCCAM'S PAVILLION OF FIRE! so, well, plan accordingly.


The Boca Beanie

Actually, Paco had chosen Becka as his object that best represented him, just like Becka had chosen Paco. However, I found that I really screwed up and the picture I had taken came out all wrong. I asked Becka to "Strike a sexy pose" while shooting a pciture over Paco's shoulder. Unfortunately, Becka had no direction on how to best do this, and she looks more like she's mad than rabidly sexual. As a result, I give you Paco with the Boca Beanie. The Boca Beanie is still at Dory's house, and it waits... it waits....


Gaze at it in wonder. Just don't eat it.

Here we have a fine selection of really poor edibles that found themselves at Woodystock II (Alias NC-3D). Let's look them over, shall we? First, note the fine "UTZ" pretzels. Not really "Bad Food" in the purest sense, but definitely an unfortunate name for salted bread. Next, we see Uncle Sam Cereal, which proudly proclaims "A Natural Laxative!" on the front of the box. Judge of this what you will. The less said about the three-day-old cheese, the better. Lava Licks were bought in Boston by yours Bovine. True story: The guy at the counter said I could have it for free if I ate some of it in front of him. He said "No one has ever, ever bought that stuff." I did, and let me tell you, he came out ahead. It quickly became a challenge at Woodystock to eat some of that crap. Rutabaga bought me the Sliced Cactus. Uh, thanks, Baga. On the end there is Dr. Smooth, one of the Soda Medical Consortium (Dr. Pepper, Dr. Smooth, Dr. Perky, Dr. Wells) that has been mentioned on TIM a lot. Finally, we see Dory in the corner. Dory is NOT Bad Food; Dory is a babe.


Kendai Sticks

Pheesh is twirling a pair of Kendai Sticks, an ancient martial-arts weapon. These come in handy when you're fighting off Newbie Morons in the Nexus. Some days, you wish you could set them on Automatic.


The Checker Cab of Doom

Touch the SNUH. Feel the SNUH. I'm giving you SNUH. Popsnuh drives a massive Checker Cab as one of his favorite cars. In fact, he has several interesting cars, including a Triumph, which is a sports car small enough that it could almost theortically fit INSIDE the Checker.

SNUH doesn't have time for all these silly games. He's too busy being worked to death by the Satellite company he works for. But when you her the Ruuuuum ruuuuuum of the Checker, watch yourself. You may be SNUHed.

This is the Largest Garden Statuary Store in New England, and possibly the country. I tried to nail down that they in fact were the largest in the country, but the saleman seemed almost afraid to make such a claim.

There's so much statuary here that they have sections devoted to one kind of statuary, i.e. Elves, Woodland Creatures, Dieties, Greek Mythology, and the Virgin Mary even has her own section, including small devotees to place at her feet. At the time of this picture, they were having a half-price sale. Is there a statuary season?


The Branches of a Tree

Woody rules. I'd say more about this picture, but you might stop laughing as much as I do when I look at it.


A Riding Crop

If Nails is my vision of the Scary Guy Apprentice, this guy is certainly the Master. A resident of Canada, he has that way of getting inside your head until you're clawing yourself with a salad tong to get him out. Out! Out, Xagyg! Out!

I'm proud of this picture, becuase I think it captures in complete and total clarity the true essence of Xagyg.

Sketch the Art Cow,