Coyote

No one entirely understands what the hell Coyote does on TIM, least of all Coyote. He's made entirely out of creme corn and has a marked propensity for putting his head into buckets. He's TIM's only Wizard (1990) to be retired (1994) and actually come back (1995), due to the bungee cord tied to his tail. He's all that, some of this, and absolutely none of those. Well, okay, maybe a little of those.

Coyote loves TIM. TIM loves Coyote. Coyote loves MOE. MOE isn't sure which one Coyote is. MOE isn't even entirely sure which one MOE is. It all gets very confusing, except to TIM. TIM never gets confused. It's the horns.

A fiend coder from Hell, Coyote groks any orientation of MUSH. Within 17 seconds of quality TIM coding time, he can make a 13-ton rhino that squirms whenever you say the word 'flan'. If you've ever got a ridiculously difficult function-smarmy just-won't-work-dammit piece of coding you need looked over, give him a buzz. And a nickel.

Coyote holds the Shaman Staff, TIM's object numero 42. If you could see into the grand scheme of the universe, you'd know that Coyote is just a clever tool of the Staff, rather than the other way around. But you can't see that far. Stoopid.

TIM's Baron of Mange is well known throughout the MUSH community, much in the same way that dentists are aware of plaque. And no, I never touched your game. I was in Guam. Eating thumbtacks.

In this paragraph, Coyote has nothing to say, but that never stops him. Your lawn is looking nice. Nice & green. You really take good care of it. Maybe you should get out the edger? I see some weeds in these geraniums. Maybe you aren't such a good gardener after all. In fact, I'm really starting to think you suck bonemeal when it comes to gardening. No offense.

Remember: If you break it, he will come.